con⋅tin⋅u⋅ni⋅ty

Getting caught up!

2010-04-02T07:05:00.000-04:00

Yes, I have been pathetic at blogging and keeping everyone up-to-date (thanks for reminding me Ryan Woolsey...haha), but now I’ve turned a corner! Just this morning I FINALLY got caught up on my receipts and finances since the first of the year! That has been looming over my head since I moved in to my new place and I can’t tell you how great it feels to get caught up with that. Now it’s on to my blogging and my many emails and facebook comments/msgs I need to respond to.

This has been a great time leading up to Easter Sunday. I have spent a bit more time focused on reflecting and realizing what it REALLY means to celebrate Easter. Maybe it’s been better that I haven’t been around all the commercialism of the holiday. Germans still celebrate it but not near the way we do in the states. Many stores (and families) decorate, but it doesn’t seem to be as...I’m not really sure of the right word....obnoxious maybe? I don’t have people giving me Peeps or Jellybeans every time I turn around and I don’t have all the crazy green fake grass in my house that I’ll find the lasts of in November. Many of these “distractions” that I just described, I actually LOVE, but they simply take me away from the focus of what this season is all about for me. And that’s why I’ve liked it this year...I can focus!

One of the most challenging things for me in my preparation for Easter came from the book of Luke. It was after Peter claimed that he would never deny Christ and then proceeded to do it 3 times on the same night just as Jesus said would happen. Following his 3rd denial and the rooster’s crow, it says in Luke 22:61, “The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter.” I wonder what Peter saw in Jesus’ eyes. I wonder if it was compassion...sadness....disappointment...forgiveness...hope...love. And I wonder what Jesus saw as he looked in Peter’s eyes. Was it fear....sadness....disappointment....embarrassment...brokenness?

It got me thinking....as I make mistakes and mess up, as I deny Christ with either words or actions, what do I see as I look His direction? And what does he see as he looks my way? Sometimes in my humanness, I believe he looks at me with only negative eyes....with eyes full of despair, disappointment, hurt, sadness, the impossibility of me being 100% faithful. And many times I trick myself into thinking that the only thing his eyes communicate is the disappointment he must have in me. But the end of the story is not in the look that Jesus gave Peter nor is it in the look that I feel he is giving me. The end of the story comes as the rest of the weekend unfolds...

The day after “the look”, Jesus says, not with his words but with his actions, “Peter, no matter what you think you interpreted by what you saw in my eyes last night, I’m doing this so that you need no interpretation. My actions shout that I love you. That I forgive you. That I will suffer for you. That I will rise again and give you hope. And that you will be able to be restored.” No matter what I think I see as I look Jesus’ way after I fail him, I am reminded that as he hung on the tree, that one display of love, sacrifice, and forgiveness could never be misinterpreted. And that is what I’m grateful for this year. I’m grateful that Jesus turns and looks straight at me but then in the case that I might interpret the look incorrectly, he also reminds me that he loves me and that, because of him, I have hope.

Hope, love, and forgiveness....what a great time of year!

Life without internet

2010-03-15T04:53:00.000-04:00

This time I actually have a valid excuse for not having written a blog in so long...

I just spent 6 weeks involuntarily going back in time to experience what life was like pre-internet. I registered for the internet on January 26 and after 3 attempts to have someone come install it and 6 weeks later, it was finally installed. But now I’m back online and I’m attempting as best I can to get caught up!

The past 6 weeks of living in a new place on my own again has been a joy....frozen pizzas have once again become routine and I’m so thankful for that....not b/c they’re just simply so easy, but b/c they are cheap and I absolutely love them. Old friends have come for visits and have since left. New friends have come and used my place to have brunch, dinner, movie nights, coffee time. Relationships are being built and are being deepened each and every day. I am so thankful for my new place opening up so many opportunities.

The acclimation to the culture and language are progressing nicely. Of course there are frustrating hours, days, or even possibly weeks, but overall I am very pleased with the progress I’m making. It’s hard to try to adequately describe what I’m going through here with the language, but as I tried to explain it to a friend the other day and this was the best way I could explain it....

Many times I feel like I’m handcuffed at the mouth. I think about prisoners who have experienced full freedom but are currently handcuffed forcing them to only observe others experiencing the full joy of freedom while they are restricted. That’s the way I feel....only of the mouth. I know what it’s like and I have experienced being to be able to communicate thoughts, to share feelings, words of encouragement, prayers, etc with one another. And yet there are so many times here that I witness others experiencing the joy of being free to vocalize their full thoughts while I sit with my own thoughts in my head completely unable to experience the full joy of communication I once knew. Sure I can communicate a little, just as someone handcuffed is partially free. But I long for the time when I’m completely free. I long for the time that I can communicate without restrictions. And I know I’m on my way.

More important things!

2010-01-16T06:01:00.001-05:00

It seems I’m on par with my once-a-month blog....seriously, what is my problem?! I need to be doing this more. And the sad thing is I actually enjoy it...I just don’t do it often enough!

I know that many of you are waiting to hear and see new pictures of my new apartment but that will have to wait for two reasons. The first reason is that I’m not officially moved in just yet. I purchased all of the big items from IKEA (what a stressful day that was) and got it all in my apartment (thank goodness for my supporters because I was able to save my back by paying other men to bring the 2,000+ pounds of boxes up the 104 stairs). Now i’m just in the process of putting it all together. And the guys building my kitchen will be here on Thursday to do that. Thank you Lord!

The second reason you’re gonna have to wait for pictures and hear more about is because there are more important things going on right now. This past week was a tough one for the world. On Monday of this past week, the Church of God (and many around the world) mourned at funerals of two of the great missionaries that have paved the way for me. Susan Hardman dedicated her life to the work of the Lord in Asia and her legacy will forever live on. I had met her once or twice but the stories that were told of her is what I’ll remember...and I hope that I’ll be able to make a fraction of the difference that she was able to make many people’s lives around the world!

Bob Clark was the the other former missionary that passed away. Bob and his wife Fran were not only former missionaries to India and Bangladesh, but they were financial and prayer supporters and friends of mine. Bob’s love for people, passion for the lost, and desire to help out at any given moment are things that I will always remember about him. I won’t ever hear of India or Bangladesh without thinking of Bob. Thanks for making a difference Bob and Susan!

The day following the funerals of these two saints in the Church of God, the little precious county of Haiti was rocked with an earthquake of tragic proportions. I had the privilege of traveling to Haiti this past July to work with a children’s camp in Callabasse, Haiti in partnership with the House of Blessings Children’s Home (HOB). HOB (www.haitihouseofblessings.org) was started over 20 years ago by good friends of mine, Phil and Lonnie Murphy. As I read news reports from the earthquake my mind went straight to those kids’ smiling faces and to the heart of the Murphys. After talking to Phil on the phone I found out that the orphanage had not sustained terrible damage and the kids were all safe...

But bad news was still there. Francky, the husband of the director of HOB (Tonia), was in Port-au-Prince when the quake hit and not been heard from. Two days later after many prayers from people all over the world, Francky had been heard from and he was safe. Let me briefly share with you his story, told by Lonnie on Facebook:

“Francky was in town for his Biblical studies class and the vehicle he was driving had some problems, so he did not go to class. He was at the garage when the earthquake hit. He said that the school building collapsed and the Pastor friends he took to class have perished. He said 40 plus are dead from his class. He is back in Callebasse tonight.”

As excited as I was, I couldn’t help but think of the families of the ones who weren’t so fortunate. My mind raced with questions for God....“Seriously God? The poorest country in the western world? Why? Why them? Why take from people who have absolutely nothing to begin with?” He calmed my heart by reassuring me that HE was God and I am not! He reassured me while my tears were falling, He felt my hurt. He heard my words. He knew my heart. I want to say that I’m totally at peace about it now, but I’m not....Phil (a great friend of mine) is getting on a plane today with a broken heart. Many people he spent so much time working with, talking with, playing games with, ministering with, sharing life together with in Haiti are in need. Many of his friends have not survived or have not been heard from. And he’s getting on a plane headed towards a disaster zone and he’s already worn out mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Meanwhile his wife, Lonnie, sits at home trying to orchestrate things from Lake Wales....emotions keeping her from adequate sleep and hurt and anguish that are constantly ripping her heart apart. Am I at peace knowing my friends are going through this and knowing that people that I have personally met are going through such torturous pain? NO WAY! Truthfully, I’m kinda glad I’m not at peace right now....I’m glad I feel pain for my friends. I’m glad that when they hurt, I hurt...when they cry, I can shed tears for them as well. And as they rejoice, I have the freedom and the opportunity to celebrate with them. Unfortunately right now there’s very little rejoicing going on.

I know that you can’t know what a mountain is if you’ve never seen it from the valley and this past week has started many of my friends on a journey in the “valley”. My prayer is that I’d walk alongside them and the One who’s rod and staff can comfort us in this valley until we all make it to the mountain again.

P.S. If you want to give to Haiti, I would suggest giving to House of Blessing. Check it out at www.haitihouseofblessings.org

My New Crib

2009-12-13T05:49:00.002-05:00

Here's a video that I did so you can see my new flat (European word for "apartment"). Looks like I'll be moving in the beginning of 2010!s

What a month

2009-11-30T05:23:00.000-05:00

Guten Tag Fruende!

The past month has been one of many adventures. Too many websites to mention have been scoured through to find the perfect place to call my next ‘home’ with no luck to this point. But that’s okay. I know that there is a place out there for me, and thanks to the generosity, grace, and caring hearts of the Philips family, I am not in urgent mode and do not have to “settle” for a place that is not the best.

On the 17th of November I began German language school at the local Volkshochschule (Adult Education Center). I surprised myself with how well I did the first day. The class is taught entirely in German and I understood quite a bit. It seemed as if I understood more in my first day of German classes than I did after 2 weeks of Hungarian lessons. I felt like I was on cloud 9.......until the second day.

The day after my first German class, I flew to Budapest, Hungary for a (Wed-Sun) retreat for all of the ChoG Global Missions Employees within our region (Middle East/Fmr Soviet Union/Europe). It was a joy to be able to spend some time with teammates and co-workers and get to know their stories even better. And to be back in the city that I called ‘home’ for 2 years was absolutely amazing! I feel like I’m home when I’m in Budapest. Navigating the city streets, public transportation, and stores almost seems like 2nd nature. The language on the other hand is much more difficult. But I actually surprised myself with how much I could recall. But then reality hit....I needed to go back to German class with my head full of Hungarian.

So, back to the second day of classes.....while it was only my second day, it was everyone else’s fourth. Exactly one week had passed since I was last there and I had missed 3 classes in a row due to the retreat. First thing in the morning my teacher asked me, in German of course, how my conference was in Hungary. I knew it was going to be a long day of classes when I answered, in Hungarian, not German, ‘It was very very good. I was there from Wednesday until Sunday and I enjoyed the city a lot. And the Christmas market....it was beautiful“. From that point on, I couldn’t switch the Hungarian off. I didn’t realize I knew so much until I was told to say stuff in German and the only thing that would come out was Hungarian.

Things settled down quite a bit after that and I’m back into the flow of things now. It’s back to class again tomorrow for me to start week 3.

I sit here now stalling to get back to work (oh how I hate you ”die, der, und das“). I hope and pray you had a blessed and restful Thanksgiving! My Thanksgiving will be my next blog....hopefully before a month goes by again!

Words on the page

2009-10-23T07:15:00.000-04:00

(Before I get on with other stuff, I want to share good news....I was able to obtain my residency (that process was MUCH simpler here than in Hungary) and have an appointment on Thanksgiving Day to get my visa...now, onward)

The moving process is a difficult one at times. Or maybe it’s not that difficult but it’s just MAJOR time consuming and at moments you feel like you get nothing accomplished. These past 2 weeks that I’ve been in Germany have been like that for me.

I was just asked the other day by a good friend (WHAT’S UP TAM?!) what it was that I was actually doing during the days. That’s a great question. I told her (and I’ll tell you now) that the best way I can describe it right now is for you to imagine yourself in the midst of writing a long research paper in college. You spend hours upon hours researching things on the web or checking out and reading books from the library, and then organizing all your research but you’ve yet to write a word on a page for the actual paper. You might feel like you haven’t accomplished anything because there are no words on the screen to show your work, but in reality you’ve done a lot. That’s how I feel each and every day here. I KNOW things are getting done, I just don’t have much to show for it right now.

So what have I done since I got here? I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit slowly inching my way to a carpal tunnel specialist’s office as I sit behind my computer researching things. Each day I look at the new apartments being listed...that shouldn’t take much time should it? Well, no, if you can read the apartment descriptions and you know where all of the German-named streets are in Berlin. I, however, do not speak German yet, so my plan of action is the same for each day....
1) search for apartments in Kreuzberg (the district that I’m going to live)
2) out of those, I copy and paste the address of each apartment into googlemaps.com to see where it’s located in Kreuzberg in relation to where we are going to focus
3) if it is close to our geographical focus, then I click on the apartment’s link which takes me to a detailed description of that certain flat...in German of course (“flat” is European word for apartment)
4) I cut that flat’s description’s web-address, navigate to translate.google.com, and paste the web-address there in order to translate the description from German to English
5) And I do that for each flat....VERY TIME CONSUMING AND FRUSTRATING!

Sidenote: The other thing you need to know about the way flats are rented out here is that when the owner (or rental agency) is going to show the flat, they announce it and EVERYONE who is interested shows up at that announced time....there are no private tours of the flats. So it’s very common that you are going to see this flat at the same time as 10 other people who are interested. It’s a very competitive process!

Other research that has been done besides looking for flats?....figuring out which mobile phone company I want to go with (and plans are NOT set up the same here as they are in the states), which bank to bank with, which language course I can enroll in (depends on where I’ll eventually live which of course I don’t know yet!). And again, all these pages are in German so the same process happens with trying to translate it all.

So, just like researching for your big paper, work here is getting done....I just don’t have any words on my page to prove it just yet. The important thing for you to know is that this does not discourage me because I know that this is the process. At the same time I hope it doesn’t discourage you because you aren’t ‘seeing results’. You and I both need to get used to that though, because many times “results” are not quantifiable in the type of work I’ve been called to! So you may not see it....but things are getting done and I’m encouraged!

A Flashback

2009-10-12T05:57:00.000-04:00

I’ve forgotten many things about living overseas. I’ve forgotten what it really means to be 6 hours ahead of my family and friends....and EST television shows. Of course I told everyone that I would be that far ahead, but it didn’t really hit home until I was here and I had to calculate the 6 hour difference and how it meant that my day changes b/c I can’t just call people whenever I want. Or maybe, like last night, I have to wake up at 2:15 in the morning to catch a Colts football game that I really want to see.....one of the downfalls of being overseas.

Another thing I forgot is just how tiring it is living in a different culture. I love it, but it’s tiring! And I’m not just talking about jet-lag. In fact, I don’t even know that I really experienced jet-lag this past weekend. No, instead it’s the mental fatigue that displays itself as physical fatigue as I concentrate on every word that is spoken trying to understand every little detail. I remember going through this in Hungary, but being back in a culture I’m familiar with and a language I speak, read, write, and understand at the fastest of paces, I’ve forgotten what it’s like to try to get my mind to take the normal speeds of life and slow it down to an understandable rate. It’s nearly impossible when you don’t know the language, but it’s a mental thing that I just can’t turn off....I have to know what’s going on and I have to learn the language. And the only way I’m going to learn the language is to practice practice practice. So along with the practice will come mental fatigue....and it’s amazing to me how mental fatigue can become a gateway to physical and emotional fatigue as well. So, in the upcoming days/weeks/months/year(s) I expect to be tired....ALWAYS....and to rest up...OFTEN....but to NEVER give up or throw the towel in as I strive to live out this exciting adventure!

Arrival in Europe

2009-10-09T05:26:00.000-04:00

I expected to see Jason Bourne as I strolled through the Frankfurt airport after the 8 and a half hour plane ride from Orlando. I don’t know why, but every time I’m in a European airport, I always think about him....Jason Bourne that is (which btw, the Bourne Trilogy is probably my favorite Trilogy of all time). Maybe it’s the little green sign with a guy looking like he’s running and an arrow pointing towards an exit....maybe it’s the different fashion....I’m not sure what it is, but that’s what I think about.

I can’t believe I’m actually here. A part of me is just dying to call or text all my friends, but the reality of not having a phone right now and then thinking that even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to call internationally, is slapping me across the face with each blink of my eye. It’s something I have to come to grips with...it’s reality now.

The past couple of days have been emotional ones. It was difficult for me to say “good-bye” (sorry...“see you later”) to all the friends that I’ve built close bonds with over the past year(s). From co-workers, to friends, to mentors, to mentoree, to family....not much of it was enjoyable saying ‘see you later’. But as I know I say ‘see you later’ I know that they are all thinking about and praying for me as much as I am thinking about and praying for them. They will all be missed, but as I have come to realize, God brings these friends around for specific reasons and times and I know that more friends will be brought my way and I will see my Florida friends once again too.

So, until later.....welcome to Europe!

Past, present and future trips

2009-06-01T08:12:00.000-04:00

Back from one more trip and 3 more on the horizon....

The 19th of May, my best friend Rodney, his wife Maggie, their baby Hannah, Maggie’s sister Hayley, and I piled into a rented Kia Sedona mini-van to make our way to Maggie and Hayley’s brother and sister-in-law’s house in Walton, KY (just south of Cincinnati). The 14.5 hour trip seemed to fly by. Even with a 9-mo old, we made minimal stops and I feel like we made great time...even with stopping for dinner at Chick-fil-A (Hannah’s first Chick-fil-A experience)!

The day following our day-long journey, I left the house early to spend some time with some pastors/leaders at nearby churches. I spent time with Howard Megill at the KY state offices, Brett Talley and Jeff Perkins at Mt. Sterling Church of God, my cousin Jeremy Zerkle (grad student at Asbury), and two new friends from Eastland Church of God in Lexington, Dave and Marty Sperow. It was a long day, but totally worth it!

The rest of my time in Kentucky, I tried to relax a bit. It didn’t really happen all the time, but the opportunities I was able to relax were such a welcomed blessing! Now I’ve been back for almost a week and I’m planning for my next three upcoming trips.

First trip.....this Friday I am flying out to Roanoke, Va to spend the next week talking with different churches. The goal is to visit churches in the following: Roanoke, Chillhowie, Dublin, Blacksburg, Fairfax, and maybe others. I am grateful to these pastors for letting me interrupt their busy schedules.

Second trip....I will be flying to Indiana from June 24 - July 6 to not only spend time at NAC in Anderson, but also to visit with pastors/churches and to try to spend some time with my brother before I leave for Europe again. Can’t wait to see him, but not too excited about all the work that I’ll be doing! :-)

Third trip....July 11-18 I will be heading to House of Blessing orphanage in Haiti with a group of about 50. This trip is for a couple of reasons....first of all, I just was ready to do a missions trip. I’ve been in the states now for almost a whole year and I’m itching to experience something different again, if only for a week! Secondly, my church (South Lake Wales Church of God) has partnered with House of Blessing for many years now and so I will be going as a part of the Missions Task Force to see first hand the ministry that’s taking place. I am thoroughly excited about this trip, however, I’m focused on the first two first!

Silence...why are you so hard to handle?

2009-03-02T14:40:00.000-05:00

There’s something I love about flying. I think it’s b/c it’s the stillness of it all. I’ve noticed it before when I’ve traveled, but for some reason this time the silence was amplified...and it wasn’t until about 30 minutes into the flight that I realized what was going on.

My tired mind began to drift as the muffled roar of the engines caused my head, propped up against the window of my exit-aisle seat, to vibrate. The TVs in the aisle were getting a work-out, but without paying for the cheap headphones, my attention was diverted elsewhere. I heard the stewardess as she politely asked passengers ahead of me what they wanted to quench their thirst in the dry cabin, but her voice seemed to sound like a whisper although she wasn’t whispering at all....that’s just the way voices sound in an airplane. By this point in the flight I had already browsed through the Delta travel magazine and its seat-back-pocket travel companion, “SkyMall“, and now had nothing to occupy my time but silence. Then it hit me....I’ve never felt so uncomfortable with the silence before in my life.

It was about this time that I began to question my motive for placing my carry-on bag in the storage bin above my aisle instead of under the seat in front of me because now I had nothing to do. Sure I had more leg room, but now I was confronted with the rest of my 2 hour flight with nothing to do...no ipod, no sudoku or crossword puzzle, no pen for doodling, NOTHING! Of course I could have asked my neighbor next to me to move so I could stand up to get my belongings from above our heads, but as I turned to ask him I realized he looked like he was occupied...it seemed with the way his head was dancing around in his deep sleep that he may have been dreaming about his one opportunity as an armless conductor of an orchestra, with only his head to communicate the tempo of the song to the musicians. Then I took it like a man and realized that every once-in-awhile you have to battle the silence.

It’s been so long before I’ve just been still. With everything going on around me, I haven’t found much time to not be occupied by something. Work. Global Missions. Friends. Family. TV. Radio. Billboards. They scream for my attention everywhere I go and seem almost unsatisfied when they don’t have it 100%. There’s a pull in all directions for what’s going to get my time each day. Like a game of tug-o-war, I feel the daily ‘to-do’ list pulling on my rope of attention while my Lord and Savior digs in his heals to fight back as I try to stay focused on His Word in my daily devotions. But it’s a struggle. Recently, with everything going on around me, I’ve just found it so hard to just ‘Be Still’.

So there I sat in the cabin of a lifeless airplane with nothing to do, and I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t have anyone to talk to, no website to check, no pastor to annoy asking for money, no task for work that I could have been completing, no new magazine to read...just me and the Lord. It had been so long since I didn’t have many other things fighting for my time, that I didn’t even know how to pray without having to force my attention one way instead of another....for the first time in as long as I can remember, there was nothing else competing for my attention. It’s unfortunate that I didn’t know how to respond in that time of silence because there are so few times when we are forced to stay silent. But as I de-boarded the plane and walked along the cold path of the Wichita airport, my eyes bounced off the bright signs in the hall, my ears filled with people talking and speakers announcing the next departing flight, i felt my phone vibrate in my pocket demanding that I pick it up, and it was then I realized...I can’t wait to be back in the air. I can’t wait to be forced into silence once again.

25 things about me...it's a facebook thing

2009-02-06T21:21:00.000-05:00

Well, I guess I’m gonna join the bandwagon....not simply just to join the bandwagon, but this is more for me. I think it’s important to do a self-evaluation every once in awhile and trying to come up with 25 interesting things about me is making me think hard about who I am:
Here’s to jumping on the bandwagon!

1) I was a good student in high school and college, but sometimes I wonder how much I actually learned as opposed to how many times I just did the assignments to get the grade.

2) I hate to read, always have. I probably have 25 books that I’ve started but have never finished.

3) It’s been a life-long dream of mine to learn another language. I’ve started multiple times (Spanish, Swedish, Hungarian) but I’m actually gonna succeed with German.

4) I hate change yet I have a hard time staying the same. Since I graduated college (May 2004) I’ve lived (for at least 2 months) in 8 different places (in chronological order):
        Lake Wales
        Lulea, Sweden (tak sa mycket Mats och Stina)
        Lake Wales
        Goshen, Indiana (thanks J...I OWE YOU HUGE)
        Lake Wales (sense a theme?...all different houses in Lake Wales though)
        Budakeszi, Hungary (nagyon szepen koszonom Philips family!)
        Budapest, Hungary (sziastok baratom Budapesten)
        Winter Haven, FL

5) I have a couple of things that absolutely drive me crazy. I hate loud things and/or noises (think Ty Pennington SCREAMING into a bullhorn that amplifies his voice EVEN MORE!). Because of my hatred for loud things, I dislike balloons and fireworks because they make loud popping noises at unpredictable times. Also, I can’t stand peanut butter, cheese, or bread getting stuck to the roof of my mouth. It literally makes me go insane! The last thing I’ll mention that I hate is when I’m trying to think of something specific and I can’t think of it. That’s my OCD coming out

6) I’ve never learned more from anyone in the world than I have from my good friends Dave and Greta Reames. They taught me more about love, forgiveness, missions, relationships, abiding in Christ, etc than anyone else and I am forever indebted to them for all the wisdom they shared as they became transparent and vulnerable with me in our Sunday night conversations before I moved overseas. Thanks guys!

7) There’s not a movie I enjoy watching more than Simon Birch.

8) My favorite thing to do in the world is travel. It’s more enjoyable with other people, but I’m not opposed to travel by myself. I’ve been to 35 states and 29 countries. It’s also a secret dream of mine to be on the Amazing Race!

9) I hate my name in cursive (I don’t have any letters that go up or down....nor do I have anything to cross or dot....just a bunch of small curvy letters)

10) One of the proudest moments of my life was holding my best friend and his wife’s newborn baby. Hannah you are the cutest girl I’ve ever seen and I’m so proud of you already!

11) I have one of the weakest stomach’s ever...I can’t even watch the intro to ER b/c I hear the heart monitor beep and it causes me to get queazy. Some people seem to the think it’s funny to tell gory stories in front of me to see my reaction....I struggle to find the humor

12) I’m not a birthday person. I don’t celebrate my own very much and therefore don’t make a big deal of others.

13) I’m hoping that the Lord’s plan for my life includes a great woman out there for me and that after we get married, we’ll be blessed with unbelievably handsome boys and drop dead gorgeous girls! However, I’m confident that if I don’t get married (or if it’s not until later in life) I’m gonna enjoy being a bachelor.

14) I can be EXTREMELY emotional and empathetic at times. If I see you cry there’s a great chance that I’ll be crying too. And if you throw up....GUARANTEED I’ll be throwing up after you (see #11)!

15) If I could live off of eating double-stuffed oreos, hint of lime tostitos, hot tamale candy, fresh fruit and publix subs, I would

16) I might be one of the biggest people pleasers you’ll ever meet. I want EVERYONE to be happy ALL THE TIME and it really bothers me when they’re not.

17) I decided my first trip out of the country that I was going to start saving barf bags from planes as souvenirs from trips b/c they are the cheapest souvenir one can find. I can’t even begin to tell you how many I have. I actually stopped accepting them from other people who brought them home for me b/c I have too many!

18) Thanks to my bro, I’m a big fan of celebrating Cinco de Mayo

19) One thing I love to do more than anything is to laugh. Someone that makes me laugh more than anyone is my best friend Rodney. He has a special gift to make even stressful situations humorous.

20) Out of all the places in the world I’ve been, my favorite things I’ve seen or done include: spending a night in the IceHotel in Jukkasjarvi, Sweden; riding a camel in front of the great pyramids in Egypt; standing in awe on the train tracks in Auchwitz Concentration camp in Poland; driving a reindeer sled in Kiruna, Sweden; attending a Bryan Adams concert in downtown Budapest with my brother; waiting in the hospital waiting room and finding out that Hannah was born (see #10)

21) I hate answering the question ‘what do you see yourself doing’ or ‘where do you see yourself 5 years from now.’ Seriously, as if 5 years ago I had ANY clue that I would be BACK in the Lake Wales area after living overseas for 2 years and planning to move back? I have NO CLUE what I“ll be doing in 5 years!

22) I’m a huge fan of people watching. Not just in airports or malls like most, but in life. It may not make sense, but I I think everyone has something that they can teach me so I try to learn from everyone as I stand back and observe. One person that I enjoy observing right now is my boss b/c I feel as if he is one of the most Godly leaders I’ve ever met. He inspires me to be more just by the way he lives.

23) My most embarrassing moment in life came when I was a first grade teacher and I mixed up the ‘Ch’ in the name ‘Chucky’ with the ‘F’ in the name ‘Fabian’ and asked ‘What’s a F#(*y doll anyway Chabian?’

24) I feel as if I had been deceived by every weatherman I had ever watched on tv growing up until the great weatherman Steve Jerve enlightened me about 3 years ago. Did you know that when they say ‘there’s a 20% chance of rain’ it DOESN’T mean that there’s a 20% chance that you’ll get rain today? It really means that 20% of their viewing area will get rain today. And I don’t care what you say....THOSE STATEMENTS ARE NOT THE SAME THING!

25) If the only thing that was on TV was college and NFL football, college basketball, The Office, 24, Lost, The Amazing Race, and Jeopardy, I would be VERY happy!
25b) I love playing ”Jeopardy! ” while watching the show...in fact, I actually keep score while I’m watching with friends. Thanks guys for putting up with my idiosyncrasies!

There you have it...now you know me 25x better than when you first started reading!

Bible in a year

2009-01-17T10:07:00.000-05:00

I’ve tried to go through the bible in a year many times. It’s usually a new year’s resolution, but I’ve rarely had success with it. This time is different though. This time I actually have a plan and have a guide that tells me what to read each day. It used to be where I just started in Genesis and tried to go all the way through the bible. Now, I’m focused...and now I’m excited! And I have partners doing this with me. Thank you Tam and Maggie for your dedication. I pray God’s continued blessings on you as you go through His Word this year!

It started off in John then jumped to Genesis. Halfway through Genesis it moved to Job and that’s where I’m at now. As I read through some of Genesis I decided I wanted to be like Enoch. If you look at Genesis 5 it gives a detailed lineage of Adam all the way to Noah. What caught my eye is that for each person (Adam, Seth, Enosh, Kenan, Mahalalel, Jared, Enoch, Methuselah, Lamech, Noah), it says how long they lived before their son was born and then whether or not they had more sons or daughters, and then finally how long they lived. Enoch is different though. It doesn’t just say that he had a son, then more kids, then died....no, he stands out because it says ‘Enoch walked with God’.

This really got me thinking. I wonder what people say when I die. What will my legacy be? If I’m written about after I die, will it just be about the formalities (Aaron was born ___, he got a degree from ___, lived overseas, worked as ____, had x-amount of kids, and died)? I hope that’s not it. I hope that people see that I walk with God. I hope that I stand out in the lists of people. I pray that as I go through this year of reading the bible, people begin to see that not only am I living, but that like Enoch, I’ll be known to walk with God.

Then, each of Enoch's ancestors before him ‘died’. However, in Enoch’s case, ‘he was no more, because God took him away.’ He didn’t die...he didn’t experience death like all his ancestors before him. God took him!

I’m living my life different from today's cultural norm. I’m determined not to die. I’m determined to be taken by God. Don’t misunderstand me...I’m gonna die at some point, but because I’m walking with God, I have more promised to me after death. I’m not just going to die. I’m taken somewhere else. Praise be to God!

Hip Hip Hooray!!!

2008-12-08T19:22:00.000-05:00

Praise the Lord....I called a church today and found out that they will be sponsoring me. Thank you County Line Church of God (Auburn, IN) for allowing God to use you to bless me!

Thanksgiving

2008-11-24T18:44:00.000-05:00

This being the first Thanksgiving I've been in the states in 3 years, I'm pretty pumped. Here's what I've done so far...

I flew up to Detroit, Michigan last Friday to be in attendance, along with all my other extended family members, at my Aunt Patty's college graduation! (Congrats Aunt Patty....we're all proud of you!) Since I was up here for that, I decided that I would take advantage of the time I had to visit some churches in the area. My Uncle John pastors Pennway Church of God in Lansing so I enjoyed hearing him speak this past Sunday.

Today I visited Pastor Greg Capsel at Millington Church of God in Millington, MI (about 1.45 hours away from Lansing). I'm telling you, if I wasn't on staff at a church and didn't live so far away, I would be attending his church. The building itself is beautiful and is used for all kinds of ministry...including housing the local high school's basketball practice 4 days a week. No better way to serve the community than to allow your resources to be used. Then spending time with this intellegent man of God was such an honor. I left after about 35 minutes wishing I would have had a tape recorder in order to replay all that he said. Thanks for your time Pastor Greg.

I'm hoping to visit more churches tomorrow and then this coming Sunday, but I'm really looking forward to just taking some time to relax this weekend with my cousin Christy. Christy and I are like peas in a pod. Whenever our families are together, we are inseperable. Obviously since I've been out of country the past couple of years, we haven't had much time to hang out, so I'm really looking forward to her coming back up to Michigan tomorrow night!

Obviously I'm a bit behind

2008-11-17T08:12:00.000-05:00

I just haven’t gotten the hang of this blogging thing just yet. I feel like if I write about everything I’m doing, you readers will get bored. So then what I do is write about nothing. But today I have a couple of updates....(work, Global Missions fundraising, and personal).

Work (South Lake Wales Church of God)...I can honestly say I don’t know that I could enjoy work more. I LOVE IT! I love my boss, my co-workers, church people. My big projects right now are to work with our new LifeGroups starting up. We have some GREAT leaders of LifeGroups and to be honest, if I wasn’t leading a group, I would have a hard time picking out a group to go to.

Last weekend, Nov 9, I had to preach at South. I’ve preached before, but it’s a bit different here. First of all, it’s different b/c there are two services. So just at the point you think you’re done, here comes a whole nother service that you have to be ampped up for. The second thing is that I was preaching in front of people that I’ve known for about 16 years now. That can be intimidating b/c they know me so well, but then at other times it was encouraging b/c I could think that no matter what I did, they would still love me. Long story short, I spoke on ‘calling’ and told them about my calling. The scripture was from Judges 6 and 7 with the story of Gideon and it followed my train of thought of going in to war with a trumpet and jar. Overall I felt like things went well and I’m glad that I don’t have to do that again anytime soon!

Global Missions....God’s doing some good things. I just spoke with a church a church last Saturday that I think is going to help with my start-up funds. Also, I turned in an application to a church in Olathe, Kansas last week. My brochures from the Global Missions office went out last weekend too. That’s gonna help get the ball rolling I hope. Now I just have to do a lot of follow-ups. If you haven’t received a brochure and you would like to receive one, just let me know.

Personal....Things have been a bit crazy on that front. I find that I get so wrapped up in work and GM stuff that I don’t concentrate tons on my personal life. Then, I realize that some of my relationships with friends have been effected by that. Some of the work and GM stuff I can change and then regret later on the ways that I have hurt some friends in the process of not making time for them. Other things I can’t change and that means that my friends need to be understanding. Hasn’t always been the case, but that’s okay. I still value those friends’ relationships.

In other news, I go to the doctor AGAIN today. I’m still waiting to hear back the results to my x-rays on my wrist. Last Tuesday night I was playing Church Softball when I slid into second base. I guess I must have put my left hand down incorrectly, b/c now it is soooo painful to even try to move it. I’ve gone to the doctor and radiologists and now I’m just waiting to hear back from my my doc. I don’t really care what they tell me...I just want to know what’s going on and what I can do to make it better. I guess that’s the problem with not having health insurance....you have to go to cheaper doctors and radiologists who take longer to get results to you.

Last bit...this week I’m going up to Michigan to see my aunt and uncle and to do some fundraising for GM. Not really excited about the fundraising part, but the rest of it I’m PUMPED about.

Blessed

2008-10-20T09:23:00.000-04:00

Ever get the feeling that you are blessed beyond reason? I feel that way quite frequently. I have a great family, great friends, God has provided for me every day....I’m blessed! I was reading today in Psalm and got to this verse that challenged me:

The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. - Psalm 126:3

What challenged me in that verse is the thought that I am so blessed with all the great things that the Lord has done for me, but I had to question myself of how joyful am I when it comes down to it? Recently I feel as if I haven’t been joyful. Or if I have been, I know that I haven’t been ‘filled’ with joy and I regret that. It’s easy in this time for me to be negative, pessimistic, discouraged, etc, but I need to remind myself daily that the Lord has done GREAT things for me....and that thought alone should fill me with joy. God is good!
On a COMPLETELY other topic....the Rays won last night!!! WOOOHOOO!! I know many of you might be thinking I’m joining the bandwagon....say what you will, but let me explain. I hate regular season baseball. I hate the fact that there are 162 games and to lose one doesn’t make that big of a deal. Yeah, when you add up the loses it gets to be a big deal, but I like to watch football where each loss could be devastating. Although I hate regular season baseball I LOVE playoff baseball. Each loss matters....each strike is crucial. I don’t care who’s in the playoffs....I’ll watch. But, now that the Rays are in the playoffs, I actually get to cheer for a team I care about. Yeah, I’m not die-hard in the regular season but I will ‘root’ for the Rays to make it to the playoffs...they’ve just never made it before. But, now that they are in the playoffs, I can root with all my might. Call me bandwagon if you want, I don’t care....I’m still rooting for the Rays! Now that they’re in the playoffs I have a reason to root! Playoff Baseball....there’s nothing like it (well, besides NFL playoffs...oh yeah...and bowl season and March Madness)! Go Rays!

Getting killed in Jeopardy!

2008-10-10T09:44:00.000-04:00

My big bro Jason and his girlfriend, Lauren, flew in last night to surprise my dad for his 60th birthday next week. Yep, he's getting old. I don't know what the big plans are for the weekend, but I'm just excited to have them in town.

In one of my favorite past-times mom, dad, Jason, Lauren and I gathered around our tv to play Jeopardy! last night. Let it be known that Jason and Lauren KICKED OUR BUTTS! Seriously, it wasn't even close. We played three games because, yes I do record them on the DVR so I can watch later on, and they won all of them....by not close margains mind you! Anyway, Lauren and Jason are/were history majors so they knew ALL the questions dealing with history. Plus Lauren was answering questions (or do you say questioning answers when talking about the format of Jeopardy!?) for the $2000 question in the category of Archeology. It was amazing. They were dominating! And I thought I was decent at Jeopardy. I've come to a conclusion after watching last night....I need to start reading more AND I need those books to be classics, historical, Shakespearean, or political. I was dominated in those categories! We have more episodes to watch today so let's hope it gets better.

Not too good at this just yet

2008-09-22T19:31:00.000-04:00

I've decided that I'm not too good at this blogging thing just yet. I guess that's pretty obvious seeing that it's been 1/2 a year since my last (and only) post.

My goal is to blog every once in awhile just to keep everyone updated on how things are going. This one's going to be short b/c I know no one even knows this blog exists. However, I do need to share 1 thing....it's official that I'm now going to be a missionary to Berlin, Germany. Global Missions has approved me so now it's just up to the fundraising process and getting there to Germany. I'm not really looking forward to that process, but it's something that every missionary has to do, so I'm gonna pull up my big-boy britches and get to work.

Check back for updates!
bound for berlin

VACATION!

2008-03-14T17:33:00.000-04:00

I feel as if everyone has to start their blogging career with the same blog. In fact, I even thought about copying someone else's first blog. You know, the one that says, 'hey everybody. I am terrible at keeping everyone up to date about what's going on with me so I'm going to try this blogging thing so that everyone could be kept up to date'. So, since I'm sparing you that boring blog, what I will tell you about is that I am on vacation...

This past Wednesday I was supposed to go to Berlin to hang out with the family I lived with last year. It's the first officall day off I've taken since I started work. And it's the first time I've been outside of the city of Budapest since I got here so I was ready to leave (minus the day I went with my pastor's family to Vienna to go Christmas shopping....NOT FUN b/c I got sick!). Well, I was housesitting for a family in our church on Tuesday night and came back to my apartment to get my bags to go to the airport. When I got to my flat on Wednesday morning, I found it broken into. Mind you, I live in an apartment building with a courtyard in the middle and all doors leading into the courtyard area, so I figured someone would have to see, or hear, the people break in as they had to ram my door to get in. No one knew anything. I searched my place up and down to see what they had taken, and most everything was there still....my Nintendo Wii, my projector, guitar, external hard drive, digital camera, etc. But, they had taken some money from me and most importantly, my passport. Yes, the idiots stole my passport. They rummage through my whole place and only took my passport and about 45€.

So, instead of going to the airport, I spent all day waiting for the Hungarian police, then the Crime Scene Investigators, then had to go to the police station and get my final written report. It all started at about 10am and I finished my last process with them at 9pm. What a long first day of vacation.....

Here's what happened yesterday (Thurs) then: The door was broken as the people barged into my house, so yesterday the carpenter came to put a deadbolt that locks completely across both doors. Then, while I am gone they are going to put up a gate infront of my door for extra protection (I already have all the windows gated).

Once the carpenter came and my landlord came to be with him while he was there, I was able to go get pictures for my passport and then go to the embassy. My embassy connections from the church came up HUGE yesterday. I gave them a couple calls to see what I should do and then they 'hooked' me up. When I arrived at the security area, I gave my name to the Hungarian security guards and they said, "Hi Mr. Varner, I'm sorry to hear that you were broken into. Please do not wait in any lines and go to the metal detectors." The next person did the same thing and the next the same thing as well. It was like I was a rockstar or something b/c they ALL knew who I was and I skipped EVERYBODY (in a very crowded waiting room...people actually were waiting outside too). Anyway, after about 1.5 hours of filling out apps, going to different windows, paying 100€, I walked out with my temporary passport.

I made it home to pick up my bags and called a taxi to get to the airport. The airline said that they could not reimburse me for my ticket the previous day so I was going to have to buy a whole new ticket. I called their main offices in London and there's a slight chance that they will reimburse me, but I'm not holding my breath. It cost about 200€ for the new 1-way plane ticket (on top of the 120€ I've already paid to get to/from Berlin) so this trip is not as cheap as I had originally planned. But it's okay....

To be honest with you, I didn't care how much it cost. I wanted to get out of Budapest more than anything. I wanted to escape it all....to run away! It wasn't a great way to start vacation, but now I"m on vacation, I'll have a new passport when I get back, and I'll have a more secure house.

Sorry for the long first post....not all will be like this I promise